Hill Reps in Richmond Park

"Oh God, what am I doing?"
A silent grumble for illumination as I climb wearily onto my bike in the cold darkness of 6am. I find it so hard to motivate myself to train. It's not something I've ever done before, nor something I particularly enjoy. I find it hard to justify the time it requires. It hurts. It's boring. I'd rather be in bed... So run the excuses of weakness as I pedal down the road. It is particularly difficult to dedicate so much blood, sweat and time to training when we do not even have a sponsor yet, following the withdrawal of Ernst&Young.
Thankfully dawn broke eventually and I cheered up.
After 5 hours of cycling, running, and hill reps, during which Ben and I covered 55km and burned over 3500kcal, I decided to dedicate the rest of my day to hobbling and eating. But there was no time for that; I spent the afternoon working on a photoshoot of Colin Firth (honestly), and in the evening went to a lecture by Saffia Farr about Kyrgyzstan. Now, as soon as I finish this, I'm off to bed! The 6am alarm for weights in the gym will come along oh too soon...
Here's a few pics of our morning. I particularly enjoy the one of me being ahead of Ben - a rare photo indeed! (I think he'd just stopped to tie his shoelaces)

Morning running

marathon des sables, originally uploaded by www.alastairhumphreys.com.

"Man's greatest journey is the long step between the warm bed and the cold floor."

The alarm crushed my dreams at 5.20 this morning.
It was dark, my bed was warm. I did not care about Antarctica, or getting fit. I wanted to sleep.
But I made it out of bed, and out onto the black London streets. Cycling through the dark to Richmond Park my spirits rose and I enjoyed the smugness of having made it out of bed before almost everyone else.
The full moon was majestic. In the park I heard deer, saw the moon through the mist and the trees, and it felt good to be up. I met Ben and we started running. The sun rose, the miles passed, and home for breakfast. It was a great start to the day. The real value of mornings like this is that they cement in my mind the awareness that I am serious about SOUTH, and that I am willing to set the alarm at 5.20 if that is what is needed for success. The only problem is that Ben and I now have to head to the gym to be beasted by Faye. Wish me luck...

One wish: the sun and a morning run

SOUTH, originally uploaded by averylongwalk.

Have you gazed on naked grandeur
where there’s nothing else to gaze on,
Set pieces and drop-curtain scenes galore,
Have you strung your soul to silence?
Then for God’s sake go and do it;
Hear the challenge, learn the lesson, pay the cost.
Then listen to the Wild -- it’s calling you.
Have you suffered, starved and triumphed,
groveled down, yet grasped at glory,
Grown bigger in the bigness of the whole?
The simple things, the true things, the silent men who do things
Then listen to the Wild -- it’s calling you.
Let us probe the silent places, let us seek what luck betide us;
Let us journey to a lonely land I know.
There’s a whisper on the night-wind,
there’s a star agleam to guide us,
And the Wild is calling, calling. . .let us go.
- Robert Service

If you squint your eyes real tight it's like being a kid and flying your imaginary spaceship. The dashboard lights glow red, the white cats-eyes flash past at warp speed. The headlights rake the curves, lighting them then throwing them back to black as the wheels rip round the corners. The music thumps my head and it's on nights like this that (when I'm alone) I wind down all the windows and see how long I can tolerate the freezing night air. This night though I just settle for enjoying the squirming excitement in my stomach and the anticipation of the mountains ahead.
Even leaving London had felt exciting. Ben, Andy (the exped manager) and I hurled our rucsacs in the boot of the car and headed for Wales. By sunset we were in Merthyr Tydfil's finest/only curry house.
Curry. Beer. Pause. Relax. Chat. Andy nips outside to phone his girlfriend. Ben and I stretch out and enjoy feeling full and unhurried...
We stir ourselves into action. It's dark outside. Back into the car, and the music's loud and soon we're in a deserted carpark at the base of Pen y Fan. We change, heave packs onto our backs, light up our headtorches and point our noses upwards.
We climb, steady but fast, away from the car, the road, London, civilisation, the world. The night is clear, still, starry and silent. We feel hot in the cold air. The night is ours.
We pitch camp on the summit of Pen y Fan. I've climbed the mountain many times, yet never have known it so still. It's as well that there was no wind; this was our debut night in the expedition tent and it took us an hour to put up!
Happy chat, whisky, a pipe, a good sleep then morning arrived shrouded in cloud. Pot Noodle for breakfast, packs on, and a good-paced day of yomping lay ahead.
By the end of the day the weather was glorious, sweat poured and we spoke of little but food and how good it felt to have escaped the clutches of London. The only irritation was that the video camera mysteriously broke; an inconvenience on a film-making and mountain training outing. Still, it was so much fun that I know we'll be back out there soon.
Back in the car, back into London and straight to the pub to meet a buddy who's just back from some crazy times in Afghanistan. Burgers and beer to offset all the goodness of the hills, but to perfectly round off a brilliant training trip.

Midnight in the hills

Ben and Al, originally uploaded by averylongwalk.

High in the Beacons, with the lights of Brecon far below. I've never had such a calm, clear night on those hills. Fabulous.

Camping on the summit of Pen y Fan

DSC_1632_2, originally uploaded by averylongwalk.

Ben, Andy and I trekked (post-curry), up Pen y Fan last week and got some great midnight pictures up there. So good to get out of London.

Fitness is about living at your peak, no matter what stands in your way.

hawaii, originally uploaded by www.alastairhumphreys.com.

"Forget what the mags with the shirtless, six-packed dudes on the cover tell you. Fitness is not about 20-inch guns and 10-minute full-body workouts. Nor is it about miracle diets or flashy sponsorships. And it's certainly not about looking good at the gym. Fitness is about living at your peak, no matter what stands in your way. It's about obeying the alarm clock, peeling yourself out of bed, and finding that extra hour most people think they'll never have." - Outside Magazine

Ups and Downs

PERU_Huascaran mountains.jpg, originally uploaded by www.alastairhumphreys.com.

It's a funny old world this expeditioning malarkey.
In the last week I have set up two meetings for Ben and me that I thought could be real openings to sponsorship for SOUTH. Both were disasters, with people who simply did not 'get' what we were doing. I came out of them despondent and thinking "what the hell are we doing?"
Then last night Andy and Ben went to watch 'Farther than the Eye Can See' (trailer below) and got fired up and motivated again. And this morning we have had the Brecon Beacons map out to plan this week's training route in the hills. Camping on top of Pen y Fan tomorrow, chat about Panda suits and Gorilla outfits in the Welsh hills, and a dream filming location in a village called Three Cocks. Suddenly it's all looking fun again.

Share a load, hit the road

Chris camp sunset.jpg, originally uploaded by www.alastairhumphreys.com.

With over a year until our expedition begins, and the mornings damp and grey, I sometimes find it hard to enjoy the daily 6am alarm. My wife is unsympathetic. She boots me out of bed and sleeps sensibly, contentedly and undisturbed for a couple more hours.
Insidious thoughts worm into my grumpy mind. What difference will one training ride or one gym session make? There's over a year to go: roll over and go back to sleep...
Almost always I overcome these devils, and by the time I have splashed cold water on my face and stepped outside I am awake and smug to be awake and I am ready to train.
I know that every session I do will help me get to the Pole and back. It's not so much the physical fitness increasing fraction by fraction. It's more the memories in the mind, the strengthening of resolve that each weary awakening gives me.
Sometimes though it is still not enough and I just cannot make myself care. I know that I will regret it in the end, but I just don't worry enough about letting myself down. This week, however, something dawned on me. Every time I get out of bed to train it increases Ben's chances of a successful expedition. Every time I don't bother, or cut corners, or make excuses to myself in the gym; all these times I am reducing Ben's chances of making it. Our futures and our dreams are bizarrely intertwined for the next 18 months. And it seems that, even if I'm willing to let myself down, I'm not willing to let down somebody else. So I get out of bed.
And on which note, it's time for bed: it's swimming in the morning and I hate swimming.